James's Testimony

Regarding my testimony, I'm not quite sure where to begin. In the early years of my life my family went to a Catholic church. I was baptized, had my confirmation. Yet at the time, it meant nothing to me.

I was a very hyper, loud, and obnoxious child. I used to believe God was controlling me to be such a bad kid. As a kid I was plagued with never being able to sit still or having outbursts. Not many people enjoyed to be around me.

Around 2008 my family switched to a non-denominational Christian church. Looking back, the gospel was much easier to understand than at my Catholic church. It always seemed like static to me, white noise. I never got anything from it.

For years church seemed like a chore. I never enjoyed going because I couldn't sit still for long periods of time and was never a fan of worship music. I eventually got diagnosed with ADHD. Which explained A LOT.

Unlike most people I never took medication for it. As I grew older I began feeling like an outcast. Although I grew up with a full house 3 sisters and both parents, I grew to be very lonely. In 2012 I was introduced to pornography and what comes with.

I would watch it every single day. Watching that content releases dopamine, the 'pleasure' chemical in our brain which gives us a sense of joy, scientifically where happiness comes from. Individuals with ADHD have an extremely low amount dopamine in their brains than regular people do.

So when I would watch it, I would flood my brain with dopamine, essentially overflowing with that synthetic "happiness". Of course with every addiction, there is a high, and right after a crash.

I would continue to have the addiction through high school. In high school I was a terrible student, never had good grades, still didn't fit in. I had crippling depression, anxiety, and was suicidal at one point.

All while my porn addiction fueled the negative thoughts and made my loneliness and depression worse. On top of that, I would go to church every Sunday with my family. I never had conviction because I wasn't aware of what I was doing was wrong.

This would go on for years, all the way up until July of 2023. In 2022, I got my first job at a photography studio where I met my good friend Ileamar. Being very shy having social anxiety I would always seek out someone who seemed kind and friendly.

My first week at work I noticed her and she reminded me of my sister Sofia. Growing up with 3 sisters, I always got along with women more so than men. So I would always walk over to Ileamar and we would talk about work and filmmaking.

One day she invited me to act in one of her short films. Being passionate about film I immediately said yes. I went to her house to read lines and rehearse the scene. At her house, I met her family and her boyfriend Raul. He seemed different than other people. I couldn't put my finger on it at the time.

Everyone there seemed so chill and super friendly. I learned they were also Christians. Authentic Christians, kind, outgoing, had conviction, feared God. Unlike me. Fast forward to 2023, I've worked on a separate film with Ileamar, her short film 'The Hidden Truth' a short film about two Christian sisters who are on the run from authorities because Christianity was illegal.

While working on that set I talked more with Raul. I learned quick he was a very good man. Friendly, neat, never swore. I knew he would be a good person to be around. I remember them inviting me to their church to attend bible study.

Still being somewhat of a loner, I was a point in my life where I was ready to come out of my shell and socialize. Something needed to change in my life and I knew bible study would do some good for me.

So I went to bible study once then again, and again. In doing so, I gained conviction, and a hunger for truth, a hunger to fill that hole in my heart that always felt empty.

Going to bible study fueled a passion in me to constantly seek out truth and love. In my search for happiness I found Jesus. He took away my depression, my anxiety, and my suicidal thoughts, just like that.

So in July of 2023, I gave up pornography, submitted to his will, and gave my life to Christ. Becoming a true Christian, no more lukewarm lifestyle.

Ever since then, I have been the happiest I have ever been and it's all thank to Jesus. Without him, I'm not even sure I would be alive to tell you.

So from the bottom of my heart, thank you Jesus. I love you.

Amen.

Turn away from sin. Repent and run into the arms of Jesus. It may be easier said than done, but whatever unholy act you are doing, it will only fuel your guilt and shame.

Seek the truth, seek, love. Jesus is the answer. He love us all more than we know.

It is never too late.

Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

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Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.

So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.

Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.